Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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