of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
