I CAN MOONWALK!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
