i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Randomize
