remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
