The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
