did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
