Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
