wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
