How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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