Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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