u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
