Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
