no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
