I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
