New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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