ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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