Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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