Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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