Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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