why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
