You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
