Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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