I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
