How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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