we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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