I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Text me some of your sweat
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
