I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
