Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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