Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
