i was born a porn star she said
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
