Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
