just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
