I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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