This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
