i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
