Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
