Non-Jews are for practice
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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