If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
please come you make the beer taste better
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
