Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
