We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
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Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
There's even glitter on my cock...
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