i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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