I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize