So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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