i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
