Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
