Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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