I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.