Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

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(505): He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis. http://tfl.nu/qfyr

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(703): View more from Virginia

He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.

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(703): He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations. http://tfl.nu/6vv2

Replies (32) Good night (697) Bad night (3911) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo

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(201): One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo http://tfl.nu/izrq

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(601): View more from Mississippi

ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

yes

(601): View more from Mississippi

did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?

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(601): ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest? (1-601): yes (601): did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me? http://tfl.nu/1ahx

Replies (13) Good night (4742) Bad night (802)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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(506): A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously. http://tfl.nu/nor0

Replies (43) Good night (1173) Bad night (5483)
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(207): View more from Maine

She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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(207): She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird. http://tfl.nu/49lo

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(209): View more from California

she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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(209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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(918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm

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(330): View more from Ohio

beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it

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(330): beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it http://tfl.nu/hhxp

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(989): View more from Michigan

It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

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(989): It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened. http://tfl.nu/z3yw

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(317): View more from Indiana

On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.

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(317): On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high. http://tfl.nu/5g1g

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(904): View more from Florida

Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.

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(904): Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters. http://tfl.nu/kh3s

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(626): View more from California

obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that

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(626): obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that http://tfl.nu/w2iu

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(845): View more from New York

Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence

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(845): Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/8d0r

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.

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(816): Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car. http://tfl.nu/sqkm

Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt

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