A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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