Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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