Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
