Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
