i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
