he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
