he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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