do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
