____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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