you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
