Kiss
Puke
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
