he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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