So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
