well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
