If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I love you.
Bad choice
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize