I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
